(Off screen studio of the Wonky Wok cooking show)
Miyu - I have some good news and some bad news, girls.
The good news is that Oja has made a miraculous
recovery. The bad news is that he can't remember
a bit about his previous life as Pehetelo's most
notorious crime boss.
Cindy - Cough cough, a likely story cough cough.
Miyu - You must keep this a secret.
Mindy - I promise that we didn't hear anything.
Miyu - Promise, promise, promise. Toshiro has already
given me the pressure cooker aquarium for our
pearl wedding anniversary.
Cindy - Go on.
Miyu - I've commissioned a little Lecalo drama for
the Electric Eel Bar and Dance on the occasion of
our renewed vow reception. I'm going to spring Oja on
Toshiro as a little pleasant surprise.
Mindy - What role could that eighty five year old baby
possibly play?
Miyu - It's not very demanding. He's a dead deep sea diver
in Suruga Bay, tangled in rotten old fish net and the
remnant of his air hose. Dead man's crabs wearing breathing masks
climb up the netting and nip at his overalls out of curiousity.
Cindy - But can they croon, if I recall my Puj and Lecalo
correctly?
Miyu - Oh yes. As it is proven that fish are full of sounds.
But you see, the twist is it's dolphin.
Mindy - Dolphin is an undeciphered language a hundred times
harder than the Keqepese patois I've mastered.
Miyu - Professor Wakimojo has cracked that rosetta stone. We
have a few cuss words made in bleeps. The rest will fall in place,
just like Egyptian hieroglyphs.
Cindy - Professor Wakimojo is in grief for his shortchanged
research assistant who froze in not so mysterious
circumstances.
Mindy - I don't think he'll be much use.
Miyu - Well, there's good and bad news to come. Professor
Grenouille of Mururoa Atoll University, suspended for having
an affair with a student, has made available his passing
knowledge in fish. While on leave, he has also offered
to quality control your cane toad paste.
Cindy - I've always believed in human rights. The deputies,
following Marie Antoinette's example, should make
amphibian available to the restless ghettos of Paris.
A people's amphibian would stop the ongoing riots
among idle emigree welfare beneficiaries.
Mindy - No more overturned cars set alight and so on.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
(Cable channel #666 The Wonky Wok cooking show.
Infomercial break.)
Voiceover -This is a paid presentation on behalf of the
Affordable Dynamite Fishing Co.
Mindy - Hey, I'm Mindy Brown.
Cindy - And I'm Cindy Black. And we're here to present
you with a one time discount offer of a month's free
cane toad flyfish for a limited time only, a no questions
money back on the 31st of the month guarantee.
Mindy - That's right, all you have to do is send some
personal information and all these wonderful cane toad
baits will be on your doorstep postage inclusive in one
week.
Mindy - Just what exactly is a cane toad bait?
Cindy - You've heard of dynamite dolphin fishing.
Mindy - Out of my price range. A chartered factory ship.
No way!
Cindy - But now you can have firecracker cane toad fishing
in your own backyard.
Mindy - Do I really need a holding company registered in
Panama for a bit of fun on the side.
Cindy - That's right. You've seen flying fish land themselves
ahead of flopping porpoises.
Mindy - Those flying fish have got legs.
Cindy - Well, this flying fish fly bait cleverly conceals a
firecracker. Canons for swimming pools, double happies
for spa pools, and tom thumbs for backyard ponds.
Voiceover - Offer for a limited time only. Special conditions
apply.*
*No abos.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
a study toward sonnet #1,542 by FisherKingKQJ
(Crooned by Yoshio the Fiddler Crab Togo, counsel,
on the occasion of the pearl wedding anniversary
and renewal of marriage vows by Toshiro and Miyu,
at the Electric Eel Bar and Dance.)
What's massacred young loyal gangster's molls?
Since gloryday that's only leap years gone?
They're venus flytrap's feed, the grind hard won,
They dig but deeper their own damp foxholes.
What's pulverised young gangster urban patrols?
Since heyday, heaped a loaded dice upon?
They're mountain microclimates, all dusted done,
Meercat crag pitcher plant feed each, old souls.
Who's sold on smelly, wet venus flytraps
And pitcher plants when you purely think of it?
Blowflies in acid rain hair trigger flit
And fortune's soldiers drown past sunny slit.
Money's yet in hole in one frost courses,
Future gangsters, leave off mercenary forces.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 courses
o $10,000,000 paths
o $10,000,000 routes
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
(Crooned by Yoshio the Fiddler Crab Togo, counsel,
on the occasion of the pearl wedding anniversary
and renewal of marriage vows by Toshiro and Miyu,
at the Electric Eel Bar and Dance.)
What's massacred young loyal gangster's molls?
Since gloryday that's only leap years gone?
They're venus flytrap's feed, the grind hard won,
They dig but deeper their own damp foxholes.
What's pulverised young gangster urban patrols?
Since heyday, heaped a loaded dice upon?
They're mountain microclimates, all dusted done,
Meercat crag pitcher plant feed each, old souls.
Who's sold on smelly, wet venus flytraps
And pitcher plants when you purely think of it?
Blowflies in acid rain hair trigger flit
And fortune's soldiers drown past sunny slit.
Money's yet in hole in one frost courses,
Future gangsters, leave off mercenary forces.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 courses
o $10,000,000 paths
o $10,000,000 routes
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
(Miyu sits alone at the private hospital bedside
of official gumba Oja, who is in a coma still, cause
conjectured, after fifteen years. A bored and
slightly nervous rookie cop peers in from time
to time through the mesh reinforced pane of
the ward door. Miyu starts to spoon feed Oja,
tears in her eyes.)
Miyu - Oja, though you can't speak, I know you can hear.
This coma is killing me. Toshiro and I are due
for retirement ourselves soon, too, so with a pain in
my heart I've decided to knock you off with the smallest
dose possible of crushed sleeping pill I could
manage. Our kind have always been the pioneers of
early reitrement. One little swallow of this gourmet
pet food jellied jellyfish and pumpkin chives mash.
That's my boy.
(Oja's Adam's apple wobbles, his eyes blink, he sits
up in his bed with a start, licks his lips clean and starts
to croon the love sonnet, It's a Lovely World through a
Little Baby's Eyes.)
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
of official gumba Oja, who is in a coma still, cause
conjectured, after fifteen years. A bored and
slightly nervous rookie cop peers in from time
to time through the mesh reinforced pane of
the ward door. Miyu starts to spoon feed Oja,
tears in her eyes.)
Miyu - Oja, though you can't speak, I know you can hear.
This coma is killing me. Toshiro and I are due
for retirement ourselves soon, too, so with a pain in
my heart I've decided to knock you off with the smallest
dose possible of crushed sleeping pill I could
manage. Our kind have always been the pioneers of
early reitrement. One little swallow of this gourmet
pet food jellied jellyfish and pumpkin chives mash.
That's my boy.
(Oja's Adam's apple wobbles, his eyes blink, he sits
up in his bed with a start, licks his lips clean and starts
to croon the love sonnet, It's a Lovely World through a
Little Baby's Eyes.)
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
(Cable channel #666 The Wonky Wok, a cooking show
hosted by Mrs Miyu Yakuza, gangster's moll, with a
subscriber audience of 13 quality people. Special guest
mad Professor Wakimojo stands in the background
waiting his dice cube cue.)
Miyu - I can't tell you how pleased I am to share my
pearl wedding gift from husband Toshiro with you my
loyal followers.
Wakimojo - The crystal glass aquarium pressure cooker
was moulded in Paris by the finest compulsive gamblers
to clear their debts.
Miyu - Just look at the black pearls round the neck of the
ancient death mask of someone not unlike someone else.
Wakimojo - From a speck of nuisance grit the oyster is
able to fight back and create resplendent organic jewellery.
Miyu - Thirty years of love and devotion between a
man and a woman in times when every second person is
getting divorced. What a precious gift.
Wakimojo - I'll slowly turn down the dimmer switch and just
watch what happens. See. The snipefish at the top of
the pressure cooker aquarium dim down their own
bioluminescence through the pineal window on top of
their heads to blend in with the ambient light and make
their bellies invisible to the eyes of the giant dead man's
crabs guarding the ancient death mask in the sand bed below.
Miyu - What's the span from pincer to pincer of the giant
dead man's crabs?
Wakimojo - Five to eight feet.
Miyu - And they eat drowned sailors?
Wakimojo - Yes, white boots and scratched bones have
been salvaged from the dark depths in the shadow of Mt Fuji.
Miyu - There you have it, my friends. You are what you eat.
Don't you dare change the channel during the fly fishing
infomercial break. After a nice glass or two of lovely
white gelatin sake, we'll be with you again to show you
how in ten minutes, with a simple crystal glass aquarium
pressure cooker or not, you too can steam deadman's crab.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
hosted by Mrs Miyu Yakuza, gangster's moll, with a
subscriber audience of 13 quality people. Special guest
mad Professor Wakimojo stands in the background
waiting his dice cube cue.)
Miyu - I can't tell you how pleased I am to share my
pearl wedding gift from husband Toshiro with you my
loyal followers.
Wakimojo - The crystal glass aquarium pressure cooker
was moulded in Paris by the finest compulsive gamblers
to clear their debts.
Miyu - Just look at the black pearls round the neck of the
ancient death mask of someone not unlike someone else.
Wakimojo - From a speck of nuisance grit the oyster is
able to fight back and create resplendent organic jewellery.
Miyu - Thirty years of love and devotion between a
man and a woman in times when every second person is
getting divorced. What a precious gift.
Wakimojo - I'll slowly turn down the dimmer switch and just
watch what happens. See. The snipefish at the top of
the pressure cooker aquarium dim down their own
bioluminescence through the pineal window on top of
their heads to blend in with the ambient light and make
their bellies invisible to the eyes of the giant dead man's
crabs guarding the ancient death mask in the sand bed below.
Miyu - What's the span from pincer to pincer of the giant
dead man's crabs?
Wakimojo - Five to eight feet.
Miyu - And they eat drowned sailors?
Wakimojo - Yes, white boots and scratched bones have
been salvaged from the dark depths in the shadow of Mt Fuji.
Miyu - There you have it, my friends. You are what you eat.
Don't you dare change the channel during the fly fishing
infomercial break. After a nice glass or two of lovely
white gelatin sake, we'll be with you again to show you
how in ten minutes, with a simple crystal glass aquarium
pressure cooker or not, you too can steam deadman's crab.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Friday, October 23, 2009
(Private function room of the Killer Whale Fish
Restaurant and Bath-house. Toshiro the Octopus
Yakuza, gumba, and Yoshio the Fiddler Crab Togo,
counsel, pore over a blueprint pirated from one of
Stonefish's high tech rotten borough warehouses.
On platters on a sideboard stand puffed up puffer
fish peppered with seamonkey clouds, plastic
seaweed, plastic deepsea divers next to plastic
treasure chests spilling plastic gold coins in
white gelatin sake aspic. The aspic looks like
upside down gold fish bowls, because it was moulded
in right side up gold fish bowls.)
Toshiro - I think Stonefish must suffer from
Asperger's syndrome, this is pie in the sky, pure
fantasy.
Yoshio - Thankfully our mad professor is no match
for Stonefish's mad professor.
Toshiro - Quite frankly, the world, sorry as it is,
will teeter on. We have the greenfields of Northern
Siberia to explore yet.
Yoshio - People have grown tired of visiting publicly
funded nazi death camps. A great entrepreur such as
you, Toshiro-san, could open up the Soviet labour camps
as tourist destinations and create a win-win business
relationship with our comrade arctic circle vors.
Toshiro - And miniaturisation due to overpopulation
will surely be my legacy, my gift to future generations,
my final act of philanthropy in my dotage. The
Siberians have been through a lot - they deserve hole
in one golf courses on the dwindling permafrost. Their
nouveau rich are an opportunity.
Toshiro - Look at this. Stonefish's rocket, strapped to the
roof of a bullet train.
Yoshio - This plan to fly into the corona of the setting sun
on leap day, Year of the Seamonkey, is crazy beyond
belief.
Toshiro - Stonefish surviving the self destruction of the world
cosied up to his harem of pole dancers, in a parallel universe,
it's an insult to the intelligence, a one finger salute is crazy.
We have to kill him through its metaphysics to save him
from himself.
Yoshio - I propose a death mask, made inexactly from tattle
and chinese whispers on the deep fry dumpling carts, to
draw him out. You know his twin vices, democracy and
micromanagement.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Restaurant and Bath-house. Toshiro the Octopus
Yakuza, gumba, and Yoshio the Fiddler Crab Togo,
counsel, pore over a blueprint pirated from one of
Stonefish's high tech rotten borough warehouses.
On platters on a sideboard stand puffed up puffer
fish peppered with seamonkey clouds, plastic
seaweed, plastic deepsea divers next to plastic
treasure chests spilling plastic gold coins in
white gelatin sake aspic. The aspic looks like
upside down gold fish bowls, because it was moulded
in right side up gold fish bowls.)
Toshiro - I think Stonefish must suffer from
Asperger's syndrome, this is pie in the sky, pure
fantasy.
Yoshio - Thankfully our mad professor is no match
for Stonefish's mad professor.
Toshiro - Quite frankly, the world, sorry as it is,
will teeter on. We have the greenfields of Northern
Siberia to explore yet.
Yoshio - People have grown tired of visiting publicly
funded nazi death camps. A great entrepreur such as
you, Toshiro-san, could open up the Soviet labour camps
as tourist destinations and create a win-win business
relationship with our comrade arctic circle vors.
Toshiro - And miniaturisation due to overpopulation
will surely be my legacy, my gift to future generations,
my final act of philanthropy in my dotage. The
Siberians have been through a lot - they deserve hole
in one golf courses on the dwindling permafrost. Their
nouveau rich are an opportunity.
Toshiro - Look at this. Stonefish's rocket, strapped to the
roof of a bullet train.
Yoshio - This plan to fly into the corona of the setting sun
on leap day, Year of the Seamonkey, is crazy beyond
belief.
Toshiro - Stonefish surviving the self destruction of the world
cosied up to his harem of pole dancers, in a parallel universe,
it's an insult to the intelligence, a one finger salute is crazy.
We have to kill him through its metaphysics to save him
from himself.
Yoshio - I propose a death mask, made inexactly from tattle
and chinese whispers on the deep fry dumpling carts, to
draw him out. You know his twin vices, democracy and
micromanagement.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Boxing Day, Year of the Seamonkey.
(Toshiro the Octopus Yakuza comes out of the
ocean stateroom en suite aboard the icebreaker
Noh's Arc, wearing a Santa beard of shaving cream
on his face, carrying a shaving brush in its pestle,
and croons the love sonnet What's Become of the
Loyal Gangsters' Molls? [still in draft].
Miyu - You were the only one who could make me
laugh and forget my cares for a while, Toshiro-san,
though I had may suitors, although it wasn't obvious at
first look that you were the One. But the others
married well, and things do work out in the long run.
And with Stonefish out of the way we can breathe again.
The terrible things I'd hear that he would do like
blend into the glittering rough cast plaster ceilngs of
no star ninja motel suites and then flop onto his victims
seemingly out of nowhere.
Toshiro - Stonefish was right about me being a lily
palmed white collar intellectual. Shakedowns and
assassinations were always a tour of duty for me,
mail fraud, blackmail, matchfixing and false passports
were my true calling. Where Stonefish went wrong was
trying to beat me at my own game. He froze to death
our dear Professor Tukokawi's research assistant to
break his heart and put an end to my marine research
into miniatursied dolphins.
Miyu - I too believe miniaturised dolphins side by side
with pilchards and sardines in the same tabbed gourmet
pet food tin will be a hit in the seaplatter markets.
Toshiro - It is time for mankind to stand a giant in the
animal kingdom at the centre of things, again. Stonefish was
an escapist, illiterate bluffer who had no faith, he believed
that the world was going to self destruct and it was a
great idea to grab a lot of everything ahead of time.
Miyu - His own mad professor could only come up with a
rocket aimed at the corona of the sun.
Toshiro - Which is hotter than the sun itself.
Miyu - To escape into a parallel universe. Ludicrous.
Toshiro - I got Soichi the master forger and failed sculptor
to make an inexact death mask of Stonefish's ugly face to
draw him into a vacant warehouse in Soichi's art commune
cum rotten borough of state of art high tech. Micro-
management was always Stonefish's weakness, fatal
for an oyabun. But we must be wary, always, my love.
Already, his left hand yes man the mosaic mongoloid is
putting together that gang again. What's for dinner, Miyu-san
my one true love?
Miyu - Stranded Suicide Delight, your favourite.
Toshiro - Ah, yes, my favourite, crummy vestigial Pilot
whale fish fingers. I've always been partial to backpedallers
stir fried in white gelatin sake.
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Stonefish - I find it hard to believe, girl gangs in
Australia and NZ. In Japan there are only
girl suicide clubs - saccharine has a bitter
aftertaste. I think goldilocks is a cutter and
ravenhair is a purger. That's what I think.
Cindy - But you couldn't be more wrong, we've
already cut a deal with Yoshio.
Stonefish - Any road, every civilisation, every
human endeavour has a classic period after which
everything degenerates. For example, the
classic period of Aussie crime is the great Abo
bush barbecue burn off three thousand years
ago when Hokkaido and Gondwanaland were
joined at the spit like Siames twins. Botany
bay penal colonies are very small potatoes.
Jaywalking and loitering aborigines - what
has the great crime family reduced itself to.
Mindy - And Maori cannibals don't keep their
own slaves anymore. Even Jesus is not to their
taste anymore.
Stonefish - Don't be taken in by the tattle at the
deepfry dumpling carts - I learnt to tally on
Ecuadorean bananaboats, and my Mandarin
is impeccable, learnt at the knee of my foster
mum.
Yoshio - Let me get a word in edgeways, Stonefish-san.
Cindy and Mindy are going into business with
me. They have an idea, a labour exchange for
paranoid schizophrenics called Patsies for Hire.
Toshiro has rubberstamped it as he wants to
give something more to give back to society
for the sustainable skims, one per cent of
everything, that he's enjoyed over the years.
Stonefish - Toshiro is an old fogey set in his ways.
The climate has changed for organised crime.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Australia and NZ. In Japan there are only
girl suicide clubs - saccharine has a bitter
aftertaste. I think goldilocks is a cutter and
ravenhair is a purger. That's what I think.
Cindy - But you couldn't be more wrong, we've
already cut a deal with Yoshio.
Stonefish - Any road, every civilisation, every
human endeavour has a classic period after which
everything degenerates. For example, the
classic period of Aussie crime is the great Abo
bush barbecue burn off three thousand years
ago when Hokkaido and Gondwanaland were
joined at the spit like Siames twins. Botany
bay penal colonies are very small potatoes.
Jaywalking and loitering aborigines - what
has the great crime family reduced itself to.
Mindy - And Maori cannibals don't keep their
own slaves anymore. Even Jesus is not to their
taste anymore.
Stonefish - Don't be taken in by the tattle at the
deepfry dumpling carts - I learnt to tally on
Ecuadorean bananaboats, and my Mandarin
is impeccable, learnt at the knee of my foster
mum.
Yoshio - Let me get a word in edgeways, Stonefish-san.
Cindy and Mindy are going into business with
me. They have an idea, a labour exchange for
paranoid schizophrenics called Patsies for Hire.
Toshiro has rubberstamped it as he wants to
give something more to give back to society
for the sustainable skims, one per cent of
everything, that he's enjoyed over the years.
Stonefish - Toshiro is an old fogey set in his ways.
The climate has changed for organised crime.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
a study toward sonnet #1,533 by FisherKingKQJ
Epilogue
(Miyu, sleepwalking croons. Yoshiro stirs, and
sits up in their kingsize waterbed.)
Noh's Arc
by Mrs Miyu Yakuza
transl. by Nicky-san
from busted Japanese into broken English
As Toshiro and I hugged jaw by jowl
On salt rimed steel rails of Noh's Arc poop-deck,
Above our ocean state room foam and fleck,
One chilling chime from ventilator cowl.
We caught the avalanche crash, gouge and growl,
Our livestock holds creaked baulkheads' slow wreck,
Epilogue
(Miyu, sleepwalking croons. Yoshiro stirs, and
sits up in their kingsize waterbed.)
Noh's Arc
by Mrs Miyu Yakuza
transl. by Nicky-san
from busted Japanese into broken English
As Toshiro and I hugged jaw by jowl
On salt rimed steel rails of Noh's Arc poop-deck,
Above our ocean state room foam and fleck,
One chilling chime from ventilator cowl.
We caught the avalanche crash, gouge and growl,
Our livestock holds creaked baulkheads' slow wreck,
St Petersburg heaped still horizon speck,
El Nino pushed, La Nina pulled more foul.
Giant steamboat stoked by lookalikes yet raw
Defrosts us first, then species two by two,
Our jellyfish, seakraits and robot crew,
El Nino pushed, La Nina pulled more foul.
Giant steamboat stoked by lookalikes yet raw
Defrosts us first, then species two by two,
Our jellyfish, seakraits and robot crew,
A thousand years on, an icebreaker thaw.
Ancestral spooks trade under oldest name,
If pilot Stonefish lookalike acts tame.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 name
o $10,000,000 badge
o $10,000,000 title
Toshiro - I love you, Miyu, for your sleepwalking
on and off the Wonky Wok, your addiction to
designer shoes, your white sake tippling, they
only make you more endearing as the years go by.
Our remarriage on our pearl wedding anniversary
was icing on the cake. If only you would put
down that blackmarket used taser - Korean hotplate
barbecue charcoal smoked dolphin could be
the end of us.
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Ancestral spooks trade under oldest name,
If pilot Stonefish lookalike acts tame.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 name
o $10,000,000 badge
o $10,000,000 title
Toshiro - I love you, Miyu, for your sleepwalking
on and off the Wonky Wok, your addiction to
designer shoes, your white sake tippling, they
only make you more endearing as the years go by.
Our remarriage on our pearl wedding anniversary
was icing on the cake. If only you would put
down that blackmarket used taser - Korean hotplate
barbecue charcoal smoked dolphin could be
the end of us.
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Friday, October 16, 2009
(Meeting between Yoshio and Stonefish in a
no star motel business convention room.
Cigarette smoke is heavy in the air and Yoshio's
delegation including Cindy and Mindy are all
wearing gas masks and Stonefish's delegation
are all wearing aqualungs.)
Yoshio - Please accept apologies for Toshiro's
absence. Oja mumbled something yesterday
and is showing some signs of improvement.
Stonefish - I admire Toshiro's undying loyalty.
At the same time, everyone knows he's to retire soon,
and that you are his natural successor. Explain
the fluff.
Yoshio - This is Cindy, this Mindy, they're our
antipodean eyes and ears and as such have
observer status. Cindy will be writing the minutes.
Stonefish - Only with this gold nibbed fountain pen.
Cindy - I was chosen especially for my busted
Japanese and poor handwriting.
Mindy - I'm shortsighted and my contact lenses
would be laughed out of any court of law.
Stonefish - In poor faith I accept your minutes as
torn, blotted, wrinkled, mispelt and grammatically
incorrect. Takanabe X and his ilk must always be
sold short.
Takanabe X - It keeps me out of mischief.
Stonefish - I want the old video tape first, and second,
nothing less than the criminalisation of big tobacco.
The black market is stagnating in all sectors.
Complacency and make do are setting in among
wholesalers.
Takanabe X - You don't have to show me the figures.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
(Yoshio, Cindy, and Mindy watch a home video from
the sanctuary of a kingsized waterbed.)
Yoshio - Precinct police chief Takunabe X pirated
this video for me from the department's black
museum. Miyu said something out of order on
her cable tv show the Wonky Wok about
Stonefish, and I will be presenting it to him as a
peace offering and as a bargaining token at our
pow-wow on Stonefish's home turf.
Cindy - The video is shaky, was the cameraman
scared witless?
Yoshio - No, he was a harmless old upskirter with
arthritis in his right wrist. This is accidental
footage from when Stonefish was a freelance
mugger of no interest.
Mindy - That drunk, surely not that drunk.
Yoshio - Watch as he throws a can on the litter.
Cindy - Makes no difference.
Mindy - Whoah! The litter turns into a greatcoat,
the greatcoat swallows the drunk.
Yoshio - There are no other pictures of Stonefish.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
a study toward sonnet #1,534 by FisherKingKQJ
Does she love me? The rube's shameful query,
Does she disclose her eyes part through a kiss?
Overeager yet compliant, she's eerie,
Is that a cheater's sign, things gone amiss?
Is she calculating, loud and leery,
First heaven queued for seventh heaven bliss?
Does she use charm just to practise cheery?
From wedge I shoulder, play fight wind or hiss?
Does she love me little? Little enough,
Compared to heated hatred? Does warm best all?
Have I missed near a suitor surfing squall?
Dilemma fitting lame blokes off the cuff.
When I bear hug her high heels off the deck
Do her eyes backward look, and booty check?
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 deck
o $10,000,000 floor
o $10,000,000 plateau
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Does she love me? The rube's shameful query,
Does she disclose her eyes part through a kiss?
Overeager yet compliant, she's eerie,
Is that a cheater's sign, things gone amiss?
Is she calculating, loud and leery,
First heaven queued for seventh heaven bliss?
Does she use charm just to practise cheery?
From wedge I shoulder, play fight wind or hiss?
Does she love me little? Little enough,
Compared to heated hatred? Does warm best all?
Have I missed near a suitor surfing squall?
Dilemma fitting lame blokes off the cuff.
When I bear hug her high heels off the deck
Do her eyes backward look, and booty check?
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 deck
o $10,000,000 floor
o $10,000,000 plateau
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
The street war between Toshiro the Octopus Yakuza
and Stonefish precipitates.
Toshiro - How could you damn my rival Stonefish on your
cooking show on cable channel 666, Miyu?
Two days ahead of our pearl wedding anniversary?
Miyu - He put the contract out on your east quarter
crew.
Toshiro - There's no evidence to support that theory.
No bent coppers, no blackmail members of parliament,
no loose and foolish tattle round the dumpling carts.
Nothing.
Miyu - Stonefish is an illiterate dunce, the bottom feeder's
bottom feeder. He owns more rotten boroughs than you
do. He can count to five.
Toshiro - I run the key rotten boroughs, including the
one housing the Shogun orphanage, but the last thing I
want is a Pyrrhic victory, leaving an opportunity for
a freelance upstart gangster to consolidate in the mutual
vacuum. The defrocked Buddhist monk should've been iced
decades ago, I agree, but there hasn't been a pinky in the
offing from that constituency in years. All his graduates
are my workaholic top earners.
Miyu - My core audience of 13 viewers is fiercely loyal and
would never tell.
Toshiro - Miyu, Miyu, Miyu lay off the sake and I'll forgive you.
This little cable channel the Wonky Wok is a nice little earner
for end of line, repo'd and shopsoiled cookware. Don't
say that I don't love you on the eve of our pearl wedding
anniversary, I've seen your mail order receipts, don't say
Hammerhead Import-Export is the one true love of my life.
Miyu - Stonefish would've pulled the plug on Oja without
a moment's thought. But you've been content to stay
acting oyabun for fifteen years. I've been taking gourmet
pet and baby food to Oja's bedside every other day, not
so much as a blink as thank you.
Toshiro - The sake is talking. Lie down, Miyu. Stonefish
would whip you with a rotan for such insolence. Acting head
of the most popular gang in Nagasaki, alleged gangster one
overturned conviction for double parking, these are public
relations and media labels that suit me fine, Miyu, my dear.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
and Stonefish precipitates.
Toshiro - How could you damn my rival Stonefish on your
cooking show on cable channel 666, Miyu?
Two days ahead of our pearl wedding anniversary?
Miyu - He put the contract out on your east quarter
crew.
Toshiro - There's no evidence to support that theory.
No bent coppers, no blackmail members of parliament,
no loose and foolish tattle round the dumpling carts.
Nothing.
Miyu - Stonefish is an illiterate dunce, the bottom feeder's
bottom feeder. He owns more rotten boroughs than you
do. He can count to five.
Toshiro - I run the key rotten boroughs, including the
one housing the Shogun orphanage, but the last thing I
want is a Pyrrhic victory, leaving an opportunity for
a freelance upstart gangster to consolidate in the mutual
vacuum. The defrocked Buddhist monk should've been iced
decades ago, I agree, but there hasn't been a pinky in the
offing from that constituency in years. All his graduates
are my workaholic top earners.
Miyu - My core audience of 13 viewers is fiercely loyal and
would never tell.
Toshiro - Miyu, Miyu, Miyu lay off the sake and I'll forgive you.
This little cable channel the Wonky Wok is a nice little earner
for end of line, repo'd and shopsoiled cookware. Don't
say that I don't love you on the eve of our pearl wedding
anniversary, I've seen your mail order receipts, don't say
Hammerhead Import-Export is the one true love of my life.
Miyu - Stonefish would've pulled the plug on Oja without
a moment's thought. But you've been content to stay
acting oyabun for fifteen years. I've been taking gourmet
pet and baby food to Oja's bedside every other day, not
so much as a blink as thank you.
Toshiro - The sake is talking. Lie down, Miyu. Stonefish
would whip you with a rotan for such insolence. Acting head
of the most popular gang in Nagasaki, alleged gangster one
overturned conviction for double parking, these are public
relations and media labels that suit me fine, Miyu, my dear.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Yoshio - I admire your pluck. Japanese girls are so
demure and passive, sugary to point of tedium. No way
could the local girls form a gang or three with patches
as you two have done. Local female one percenters
form suicide groups on the net instead.
Cindy - Actually, I didn't mean to exaggerate, I was only
a junior associate of the Toxic Spiny Anteaters.
Mindy - Really, and I was twelve not even a teenager,
I did hang out with the friend of a friend of the
Venomous Platypusses.
Yoshio - Lying leads to pinching lunches and pinching lunches
leads to shoplifting. Look, I'll get you patches made up
on canetoad leatherette jackets through a tailor I
know who owes me a baker's dozen favours in greyhound
credits. I'll call him now. You'll be the envy of every
girl on the streets of downtown Nagasaki. If you
think your exotic looks get you admiration now -
hello, that you Taro? Yoshio calling in a baker's
dozen favours. Yes, over three days grace. I've
got a couple of sweet antipodean late bloomers here.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
demure and passive, sugary to point of tedium. No way
could the local girls form a gang or three with patches
as you two have done. Local female one percenters
form suicide groups on the net instead.
Cindy - Actually, I didn't mean to exaggerate, I was only
a junior associate of the Toxic Spiny Anteaters.
Mindy - Really, and I was twelve not even a teenager,
I did hang out with the friend of a friend of the
Venomous Platypusses.
Yoshio - Lying leads to pinching lunches and pinching lunches
leads to shoplifting. Look, I'll get you patches made up
on canetoad leatherette jackets through a tailor I
know who owes me a baker's dozen favours in greyhound
credits. I'll call him now. You'll be the envy of every
girl on the streets of downtown Nagasaki. If you
think your exotic looks get you admiration now -
hello, that you Taro? Yoshio calling in a baker's
dozen favours. Yes, over three days grace. I've
got a couple of sweet antipodean late bloomers here.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
a study toward sonnet #1,535 by FisherKingKQJ
We brushed long the shady stairwell landing
By plastic plants in troughs set anyhow,
Forty watt wall washer lamps disbanding
Our wrinkles swathes of softer tanned bronze glow.
My bifocals featured hinged, upstanding
Tint lids, ay, I swore he'd changed lots, then, now,
His gold tie pin mettlesome, commanding,
Elite sunglasses flush above his brow.
His black dyed beard and number nought shaved crown
And so tailored tightarse pinstripe trousers
Dealt him greenfields young, fetching upside down,
His wild debt trades months on watchdog rousers.
Two students puffing on one bookmark spliff,
Your talk of babes would get me slightly stiff.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 spliff
o $10,000,000 joint
o $10,000,000 toke
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
We brushed long the shady stairwell landing
By plastic plants in troughs set anyhow,
Forty watt wall washer lamps disbanding
Our wrinkles swathes of softer tanned bronze glow.
My bifocals featured hinged, upstanding
Tint lids, ay, I swore he'd changed lots, then, now,
His gold tie pin mettlesome, commanding,
Elite sunglasses flush above his brow.
His black dyed beard and number nought shaved crown
And so tailored tightarse pinstripe trousers
Dealt him greenfields young, fetching upside down,
His wild debt trades months on watchdog rousers.
Two students puffing on one bookmark spliff,
Your talk of babes would get me slightly stiff.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 spliff
o $10,000,000 joint
o $10,000,000 toke
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Monday, October 12, 2009
a study toward sonnet #1,536 by FisherKingKQJ
(Failed sculptor turned bas relief counterfeiter Soichi
hangs a frame of his first successful baht on the wall of his
twentieth floor garret, in the red light district of
Nagasaki, then croons -)
I sketch first my love scratching sticks of chalk,
Then mould her plaster dummy, plumbed from bust,
Shut out my ego bound, abusive lust-
Tight chickenmesh mashed hexagons, no baulk.
I couldn't capture her tongue snaking fork
Of trivial babble, or glance, yet put trust
In limestone like bore, marbled veins of rust,
I sealed her, primed her, peeled on paint glaze caulk.
Was Yoshio who said that statues sweat bird slime,
Through centuries of wary waterblast
Ground down to true scale 1:20 last,
Proportion perfect, duck's back skin skim crime.
Chiseling her down done dead on scripture,
Tattoo scaled, my feet-bind mermaid sculpture.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 scripture
o $10,000,000 text
o $10,000,000 writing
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
(Failed sculptor turned bas relief counterfeiter Soichi
hangs a frame of his first successful baht on the wall of his
twentieth floor garret, in the red light district of
Nagasaki, then croons -)
I sketch first my love scratching sticks of chalk,
Then mould her plaster dummy, plumbed from bust,
Shut out my ego bound, abusive lust-
Tight chickenmesh mashed hexagons, no baulk.
I couldn't capture her tongue snaking fork
Of trivial babble, or glance, yet put trust
In limestone like bore, marbled veins of rust,
I sealed her, primed her, peeled on paint glaze caulk.
Was Yoshio who said that statues sweat bird slime,
Through centuries of wary waterblast
Ground down to true scale 1:20 last,
Proportion perfect, duck's back skin skim crime.
Chiseling her down done dead on scripture,
Tattoo scaled, my feet-bind mermaid sculpture.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 scripture
o $10,000,000 text
o $10,000,000 writing
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Sunday, October 11, 2009
a study toward sonnet #1,537 By FisherKingKQJ
(The scene is The Electric Eel Bar and Dance nightclub
in the red light district of Nagasaki, a subsidiary of
Hammerhead Import/Export owned by gumba
Toshiro Yakuza and his counsel Yoshio Togo.
Australian hostess Mindy Brown and Kiwi hostess
Cindy Black, wearing matching cane toad leatherette
bikinis gyrate in giant mock lobster pots and croon
the following sonnet. Above the giant mock lobster pots is the
sign in Japanese writing The Electric Eel Bar and Dance
with an animated neon sign showing sparks flying
out an electric eel's tail which a luminous female deep sea
angler fish makes a kissing pout to, but
suddenly jolts back from with crosses for eyes (which in
cartoons signify shocked and unconscious).
Cindy and Mindy croon duet as octet, sestet.
Cindy -
You ride my arse so rough, you bump my head
Against the dashboard, then out break goosebumps
Net radio screen waves sine-squall blue, green and red,
I crest on plumb crescendos wade your pumps.
The safety airbags whack out, our cheeks wed,
To headblowing orgasms, my quick heart yet thumps,
I don't care, though, if I'm living or dead-
You tie off rubber, coo me best of rumps.
Mindy -
In Japanese, you say, let's screw again,
I sigh no, mean too much of sweetest thing,
You sling back round my neck cool black pearl bling,
My skin airconditioned bleats goosebump-chillblain.
Red, green and blue sine graph waves now swish place,
Drum, bass then balailaka switch through ace.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 place
o $10,000,000 domain
o $10,000,000 spot
(At a table in the corner sit failed sculptor Shoichi and
counsel Yoshio.)
Shoichi - I sat on the balustrade of my twentieth floor
garret, ready to jump to my death, knowing that I'd
never sculpt as well as the classic Seoul masters. My
life passed before me till I got to what you'd said,
and how I'd secretly adored your relentless zest for
life where I'd had nothing but penury and derision.
Yoshio - The greatest artists are the fellows who do
portraits for yuan and yen coins and notes, who
humbly achieve perfection and never sign their names.
But at every strata of society there is a weak link
which belongs to our gangster underworld. Amongst
self made billionaires, for example, Toshiro-san is the
weakest link.
Shoichi - Can you find me a position as the weakest link
in the currency portraiture industry?
Yoshio - There may be a vacancy coming soon in the
department of bhat, for a worst among equals.
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Friday, October 09, 2009
(Yoshio takes Cindy's hand in his and looks earnestly
into her eyes, then croons in a low voice.)
I chowed fugu next to buddy boffin,
My lips still blue numbly kiss his coffin.
Mindy - That's such a pretty busted haiku.
Yoshio - We'd come such a long way from the days
when he built and designed rice cookers and
I peddled deep fried dumplings and tattle on
the streets of Nagasaki.
Cindy - Life is a seven up.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Thursday, October 08, 2009
(Yoshio Togo counsel, Cindy Black hostess, Mindy Brown hostess
lying on a king sized waterbed.)
Yoshio - You're such lovely club hostesses, I'd like to bring
you home to meet my wife if we get along.
Cindy - That's what I like about you Japanese businessmen,
what you see is what you get.
Mindy - Aussie men and kiwi blokes are so nambypamby
and never have any money to spoil a girl.
Yoshio - So who molested you when you were little that you're
now so bent and tearful?
Mindy - Uncle.
Cindy - Next door neighbour.
Yoshio - We recruit apprentice gangsters from the Shogun
Orphanage mostly, all of them have a chip on their shoulder
about the same defrocked Bhuddist priest. He is a necessary
evil, the road to enlightenment.
Cindy - Yoshio Togo is such a lovely name. It rolls off the tongue.
Yoshio - Every second person in Nagasaki has the same name, it's
common as ditch water.
Mindy - I know what you mean.
Cindy - What act of philanthropy are you working on now, Yoshio?
Yoshio - My children have never seen a raw great turtle or great
tortoise. We have poached the last two queers on Earth, Benny the
Bachelor, and Castaway Kenny. By destroying their chromosomes
with concentrated phosphorescent plankton and the natural act
of sodomy we want to gestate, hatch, farm and boil up
sustainable poof Great Tortle soup. With footbinding techniques
from mainland China and molecular cooking, we can extrude a
Great Tortle, which wears a snorkel on its snout, fins on its
front legs and toes on its hind legs. They would then, each spring,
seek out mates throughout the Homo Archipelago.
Mindy - Yoshio, I do believe you wouldn't hurt a blowfly
lying on its back, legs sticking up, in front of a poison arrow frog
the size of a ten cent piece.
Cindy - I belonged to a girl gang in my early teens, the Platypus Crew,
our emblem was a platypus injecting its poison into and sodomising a duck.
Mindy - My gang was the Spiny Anteater Posse, our emblem was a
spiny anteater injecting its poison into and sodomising a hedgehog.
Yoshio - Our gang emblem, for the loser busted hand was and ever
shall be a seasnake wrapping itself round a turtle. I like you more
and more. I think we can do some business blackmailing cheating
husbands.
Cindy - Is there a worse monster in society?
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
lying on a king sized waterbed.)
Yoshio - You're such lovely club hostesses, I'd like to bring
you home to meet my wife if we get along.
Cindy - That's what I like about you Japanese businessmen,
what you see is what you get.
Mindy - Aussie men and kiwi blokes are so nambypamby
and never have any money to spoil a girl.
Yoshio - So who molested you when you were little that you're
now so bent and tearful?
Mindy - Uncle.
Cindy - Next door neighbour.
Yoshio - We recruit apprentice gangsters from the Shogun
Orphanage mostly, all of them have a chip on their shoulder
about the same defrocked Bhuddist priest. He is a necessary
evil, the road to enlightenment.
Cindy - Yoshio Togo is such a lovely name. It rolls off the tongue.
Yoshio - Every second person in Nagasaki has the same name, it's
common as ditch water.
Mindy - I know what you mean.
Cindy - What act of philanthropy are you working on now, Yoshio?
Yoshio - My children have never seen a raw great turtle or great
tortoise. We have poached the last two queers on Earth, Benny the
Bachelor, and Castaway Kenny. By destroying their chromosomes
with concentrated phosphorescent plankton and the natural act
of sodomy we want to gestate, hatch, farm and boil up
sustainable poof Great Tortle soup. With footbinding techniques
from mainland China and molecular cooking, we can extrude a
Great Tortle, which wears a snorkel on its snout, fins on its
front legs and toes on its hind legs. They would then, each spring,
seek out mates throughout the Homo Archipelago.
Mindy - Yoshio, I do believe you wouldn't hurt a blowfly
lying on its back, legs sticking up, in front of a poison arrow frog
the size of a ten cent piece.
Cindy - I belonged to a girl gang in my early teens, the Platypus Crew,
our emblem was a platypus injecting its poison into and sodomising a duck.
Mindy - My gang was the Spiny Anteater Posse, our emblem was a
spiny anteater injecting its poison into and sodomising a hedgehog.
Yoshio - Our gang emblem, for the loser busted hand was and ever
shall be a seasnake wrapping itself round a turtle. I like you more
and more. I think we can do some business blackmailing cheating
husbands.
Cindy - Is there a worse monster in society?
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
sonnet draught #1,538
I love you forced, your flushed non-hissy fit,
Defining you bears fruit seeds more or less,
You're halved pear happy with me, you guess,
You nod, you shrug, you grin, your white teeth grit.
Default insight, you feel our life our skit,
And mite sour dough or laugh track can raise mess,
You want to whack your master, straight address,
You care great lot for looks, pretend one bit.
Beneath the many masks, inside your soul,
You fear rejection, fidget lonely, want to reach
And touch another, you're trapped role in roll,
Fall back on blame mute, hide in chirpy speech.
No different than all the rest of us,
By me you mindless pass, you mumble-cuss.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 us
o $10,000,000 ours
o $10,000,000 we
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
I love you forced, your flushed non-hissy fit,
Defining you bears fruit seeds more or less,
You're halved pear happy with me, you guess,
You nod, you shrug, you grin, your white teeth grit.
Default insight, you feel our life our skit,
And mite sour dough or laugh track can raise mess,
You want to whack your master, straight address,
You care great lot for looks, pretend one bit.
Beneath the many masks, inside your soul,
You fear rejection, fidget lonely, want to reach
And touch another, you're trapped role in roll,
Fall back on blame mute, hide in chirpy speech.
No different than all the rest of us,
By me you mindless pass, you mumble-cuss.
(Chorus)
o $10,000,000 us
o $10,000,000 ours
o $10,000,000 we
[Autocube3 - for 3d interactive movies.]
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Disclosure of contents. May contain traces of
gay dolphin, omega three, cracked black
nonstick wok and cracked black pepper
processed on same machination machete
gauntlet.
Blowfly Looks Up to Homing Dove
composed and crooned by Miyu* Yakuza (Mrs)
* real christian name oppressed
transl. by Nicky-san
The buzzing blowfly has a little brain
And ecoterrorists look on it with disdain,
They deem big is clever, where small is dumb,
He gets the greenie downward pointing thumb,
The whale is monument to massive feed
On murdered krill, blow fly sips just for need.
The buzzing blowfly once tricked out turd white,
Though black thinks homing dove white plumes a sight,
And homing dove's one track pea brain is turbocharged-
By flapped ozone, blowfly's mind is enlarged, (10 lines = $100 paycheque)
As he looks up to homing dove sun heats the glass
His blood heats buzzing, airs his mind top class.
Miyu continues in blank verse.
Miyu - If you want a go at crooning my song pull
the arm or leg of this nice one arm bandit, do the work,
100 syllables, and let the Punters' Union send to you a
$100 paycheque.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
gay dolphin, omega three, cracked black
nonstick wok and cracked black pepper
processed on same machination machete
gauntlet.
Blowfly Looks Up to Homing Dove
composed and crooned by Miyu* Yakuza (Mrs)
* real christian name oppressed
transl. by Nicky-san
The buzzing blowfly has a little brain
And ecoterrorists look on it with disdain,
They deem big is clever, where small is dumb,
He gets the greenie downward pointing thumb,
The whale is monument to massive feed
On murdered krill, blow fly sips just for need.
The buzzing blowfly once tricked out turd white,
Though black thinks homing dove white plumes a sight,
And homing dove's one track pea brain is turbocharged-
By flapped ozone, blowfly's mind is enlarged, (10 lines = $100 paycheque)
As he looks up to homing dove sun heats the glass
His blood heats buzzing, airs his mind top class.
Miyu continues in blank verse.
Miyu - If you want a go at crooning my song pull
the arm or leg of this nice one arm bandit, do the work,
100 syllables, and let the Punters' Union send to you a
$100 paycheque.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
Monday, October 05, 2009
transl. by Nicky-san
from Mrs Miyu Yakuza's cook book
Treat fit for human consumption tinned,
The slightly shrewder dolphin smoked and skinned,
It's porpoise doused in periperi sauce,
The owner shares his spoilt pet's single course,
Recycle what's left under your can tab,
Chuck it to some tramp else non union scab.
SPADES DIAMONDS CLUBS HEARTS
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