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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The street war between Toshiro the Octopus Yakuza
and Stonefish precipitates.

Toshiro - How could you damn my rival Stonefish on your
cooking show on cable channel 666, Miyu?
Two days ahead of our pearl wedding anniversary?
Miyu - He put the contract out on your east quarter
crew.
Toshiro - There's no evidence to support that theory.
No bent coppers, no blackmail members of parliament,
no loose and foolish tattle round the dumpling carts.
Nothing.
Miyu - Stonefish is an illiterate dunce, the bottom feeder's
bottom feeder. He owns more rotten boroughs than you
do. He can count to five.
Toshiro - I run the key rotten boroughs, including the
one housing the Shogun orphanage, but the last thing I
want is a Pyrrhic victory, leaving an opportunity for
a freelance upstart gangster to consolidate in the mutual
vacuum. The defrocked Buddhist monk should've been iced
decades ago, I agree, but there hasn't been a pinky in the
offing from that constituency in years. All his graduates
are my workaholic top earners.
Miyu - My core audience of 13 viewers is fiercely loyal and
would never tell.
Toshiro - Miyu, Miyu, Miyu lay off the sake and I'll forgive you.
This little cable channel the Wonky Wok is a nice little earner
for end of line, repo'd and shopsoiled cookware. Don't
say that I don't love you on the eve of our pearl wedding
anniversary, I've seen your mail order receipts, don't say
Hammerhead Import-Export is the one true love of my life.
Miyu - Stonefish would've pulled the plug on Oja without
a moment's thought. But you've been content to stay
acting oyabun for fifteen years. I've been taking gourmet
pet and baby food to Oja's bedside every other day, not
so much as a blink as thank you.
Toshiro - The sake is talking. Lie down, Miyu. Stonefish
would whip you with a rotan for such insolence. Acting head
of the most popular gang in Nagasaki, alleged gangster one
overturned conviction for double parking, these are public
relations and media labels that suit me fine, Miyu, my dear.

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