restricted to eighteen years and over. Any resemblance to
characters would be purely coincidental.)
(Mehetelo City. Cindy and Mindy are on the streets of
the rotten borough busking using two midsize Russian Jewish
balalaikas and mixing it with the local low lifes, including
Crybaby.)
(Cindy and Mindy croon by turn and in unison.)
Cindy - Those people are so gifted for music. I believe
this Vlado is a night club owner in Pov Zusl, with a
sideline in ex army antiques.
Mindy - Maybe we should've waited till the peak
time traffic died down.
Cindy - As long as you prime the pump, put the
first coin in the busker's hat yourself, people will
cough up. Anyway, we're affiliate gangsters, here
to keep an ear to the ground for Vujotsu and practise
throwing sharpened boomerangs round avenue
corners for Stonefish's upcoming death by
misadventure.
Mindy - The set date is a bit far off, I don't know
they trust our throwing abilities. Using shop
front windows as periscopes is dicey, maybe even the
stars have to be in alignment.
Cindy - Isn't that Crybaby who just collapsed in
front of a stalled car?
Mindy - Some people have got no shame. What a
way to make a living, falling in front of cars
in peak hour traffic jams, then accepting hush money.
Cindy - Isn't he afraid of being steamrolled?
Crybaby - I heard that. My dentures are wooden,
as I'm a vegetarian now, and adore sea weed
spirulina gelato.
Mindy - Your wooden teeth are the mark of Cain
the vegetarian who killed his meat eating brother,
which only proves, two wrongs do not make a
right.
Crybaby - Noone wants to kill me, I've asked around.
Instead, I grovel to pay the rent.
1.
Hickory and chicory fired hot plate,
Beef sausages burnt let off gas in state,
Grey suits fined them farmer who last fed it,
Steamboat porkies stacked, due carbon credit.
2.
Vegan quiche, soybean niche,
Freerange flan,
Artisan;
Sundried rare, half baked fare,
Castor caned, brown sugar beat.
3.
Though stiff bolts sex robot,
Who cranks out clap, small fee,
You'll smirk and smarm a jot,
The new quack hammers knee.
4.
"Go back to sleep, go back to sleep",
Roars Eyeballs Deep,
"You naff off now", cries Up-to-Ears,
"Defrost the flan
With sucks on seedless sweet, glazed pears",
Lisps Gummy Gran.
5.
Abacadabra poor lit algebra,
A towering dice cup double cee cc,
Under wicked criss hatched candelabra
Symmetric k's read x's, low key.
6.
Once lived a loaded lawyer, conveyed by land,
Who laundered lolly less than one grand,
Who lent you lapdogs, left off olden swag,
Who lunched on lamb flaps, legal aid should lag.
7.
Midnight sun permafrost,
Sleet, ice, and snow get lost;
Young Maria counts small cost.
8.
So, Larry Larrikin, he licks his knife
Of crackling pork tid greased, a buttered pea,
Snaps fingers fussily, his waitress wife
All sterling service, waives a ten point fee.
9.
Young Jenny Jail dropped her cellphone,
Old Ginny Gaol caught one dial tone,
All back to back, and butt, tailbone,
Shoplifters best left by own.
10.
Shush bub shush, daddy still can shadow box,
While boobs fatten up firm in detox,
My darling baby, roll of rude in dung,
You'll get well soon, yes, give or take a lung.
11.
Thingummy grit, thingummy gob,
Stir hot steamboat, fire up blue hob,
There, lip free, less beard oysters gape
At pearly whites, and people ape.
12.
Boiled La Nina isobars and arrows
Train on Aoteoroa alien sparrows,
Who nest their nook;
Boiled El Nino isobars and arrows
Migrant mynah birds foist, sparrows' harrows,
Who land a look.
13.
"Freelance thug, who'll you snitch?"
"None less than boss's bitch".
"Freelance thug, what's to lose?"
"A cultured ruby ruse".
14.
Sasha stoke the samovar,
Sasha coke the samovar,
Sasha poke the samovar,
Bets off billy tea.
Victor vet the arctic vor,
Victor get the arctic vor,
Victor let the arctic vor
Frappes sip as free.
15.
Puny Perry Peeper,
Daytime doorkeeper,
Lewd as, looks in louvre,
Maids and hair remover.
16.
Handwringing Larry Loot
Would froth at green or fruit,
Account of its springtime sex;
His missus marked her suits,
Drone bees despoiled to boot,
Would hurl at honey hex;
They wore tequila cactus worms,
Initially agave fed squirms.
17.
Gilded eggs, and glitzy goose and gander
Meander rotten borough gerrymander,
Carat kickbacks carry cresting lord mayor;
Filibuster zigzags dingdong his fall,
Who's left to right can rort a flagged stonewall;
Apparently, cheek kiss french kiss au pair,
When pundits punch in laissez savoir faire.
19.
Kate and Chris on sods of surf
Down a dead arm, waive fairway,
Pinch royal putts, from rolled turf,
Nest for shrapnel, none told, ay?
Dirty dimples, little pence,
Keeper Marshy, madcap fence.
20.
Eighty-eight two fat ladies,
Bouncing boulders, hiding Hades;
Pretty pins, legs eleven,
Sticks crossed stacks, hatching heaven.
21.
Butterfly and glassy,
Deadeye thumb flick milky dealt,
Cut loose canon brassy,
Wall eye, glass eye, patch of felt.
