a study toward sonnet #190 by FisherKingKQJ

With a heavy heart I dropped the phone back
Into its cradle - I'd been calm and nice,
I supplied evidence just short of a hack
Or a snoop - but he still tumbled the dice.
I picked up the phone and slammed it down twice:
I was still his main squeeze? I started to sob-
I was such a fraud, and meekness my demise-
Why couldn't I confront that two timing fob?
Alpha males and feisty girls who hobnob
On jetties and superyachts would cheer
If I looking glass rehearsed a hatchet job
And shattered his fine, thin, brittle veneer.
So, when would I wake up and become real?
Would it be in the first or second reel?

{3D interactive chorus:}

So, when would I wake up and become real?
So, when would I wake up and become actual?
So, when would I wake up and become definite?

a study toward sonnet #189 by FisherKingKQJ

He turned up uninvited when a straight
And polite phone call would've done;
A casual approach was his family trait,
He was a free spirit, a slave to none.
At varsity, his hollow cheekbones had won
My heart, now they were chubby pink-
I was shocked to see his eyes weren't a dun
But a bright blue - I'd lost a vital link.
But I swear his hair once black as ink,
And pony tailed in a scrunchie bind,
Now it's grey and sparse - who would think?
I'm sure that I looked a stranger in kind.
So much for sweet memory's sustenance-
I'd rather love this man of substance.

{3D interactive chorus:}

So much for sweet memory's sustenance.
So much for sweet memory's elixir.
So much for sweet memory's tonic.

a study toward sonnet #188 by FisherKingKQJ

My family is stuffed, of no import,
I'll love you in a way myself denied;
Emotionally, you're distant or nought,
My loneliness for us two can provide.
I'll open doors for you on the upside,
I'll take on myself all your blame and guilt,
I'll earn the right to pleasure with small pride,
I love your sour, bipolar rock and tilt.
I love your boozing, your talk a slurring lilt,
Through you I put my melancholy off,
You're dull but I can embroider that quilt,
I'll turn you from low hiccup to hiccough.
You're the luckless loser who won my heart,
I can change you as much as it may hurt.

{3D interactive chorus:}

You're the luckless loser who won my heart.
You're the luckless loser who won my amour.
You're the luckless loser who won my love.

a study toward sonnet #187 by FisherKingKQJ

In Shanghai, my thighbones were buzzsaw cut,
My sinews stretched with screws and jimmy crows,
And so Fatboy, the patronising slut,
Now has to look up his aquiline nose.
Fatboy sleeps with tourists, dykes and yoyos,
And it's me, Julio, seven foot, who looms
A poppy tall, who smells a lily or a rose,
Who a five o'clock shadow proudly grooms.
My facelift slit eyes aren't to his taste,
His pussy, a transplanted appendix,
So womanly, I think a consummate waste-
There's some things a surgeon couldn't fix.
I help Fatman contemplate his navel-
He leans on the Family and Naval.

{3D interactive chorus:}

I help Fatman contemplate his navel.
I help Fatman contemplate his bellybutton.
I help Fatman contemplate his innie-outie.

a study toward sonnet #186 by FisherKingKQJ

I blinked off my eyelids many teardrops
And with handkerchief corner dab and pat
All the while as we walked through the copse
I swabbed away my exfiancee, the gnat.
I feigned hayfever, in phrases dull and flat,
A white lie, he tugged on my dickey sleeve,
He squeezed my shoulders, he tipped his hat,
He said the past was the past, now an eve.
He was genteel, he said he'd never leave,
I'd fallen for his ways slightly stiff and proud,
When gauged against rough play, just a peeve,
I worried I might be thinking aloud.
He adores me for my fibs and white lies,
Loves thorough histrionic b movie lines.

{3D interactive chorus:}

He adores me for my fibs and white lies.
He adores me for my fibs and white dissembly.
He adoires me for my fibs and white fiction.

[Line 14 rewritten to lengthen and match line 1. 14/9/05]

a study toward sonnet #185 by FisherKingKQJ

I didn't want to see him, however
To ignore him would look so weak,
Or criminally secret - best to sever
The subtext by an understated cheek.
My tired demeanour he took as meek,
His opinion of my spring catalogue,
Unsolicited, revealed a mean streak-
He was a credulous, conniving dog.
I had one offs and off the racks to flog,
I felt somewhat itchy and so I crossed
My thin legs and then I felt a tiny jog
As on my naked thigh his gaze was lost.
My accidental win I didn't sing-
I repeated his words without their sting.

{3D interactive chorus:}

My accidental win I didn't sing.
My accidental win I didn't coo.
My accidental win I didn't trumpet.

sonnet #184 by FisherKingKQJ

But my animal instincts overwhelmed
My level judgement - I stood on tiptoe,
My wrists on his shoulders - then I helmed
A french kiss at his lips - wet, long, deep, slow.
He wriggled away, it was such a blow,
And of course, as I was his brother's fiancee,
For all three it might end in teary sorrow
If this set the tone, he would enter the fray.
What came over me? I was so quick to betray
My own values for a playful intrigue
With a near stranger who didn't obey
As I willed - were we in or out of league?
What was this fireball ahead of thunder?
It might knock us down, turn us tinder.

{3D interactive chorus:}

What was this fireball ahead of thunder?
What was this fireball ahead of growl?
What was this fireball ahead of rumble?

a study toward sonnet #183 by FisherKingKQJ
in A flat

In her complete cycle I stash true wealth,
She's a perfect wife of white powder gold,
She ties the boutique vineyard of my health,
She massages my pain without a scold.
At dawn she starts her duties manifold,
A desklamp budget, a bird chorus adding allure,
She irons winter clothes for the household,
She bakes linseed loaves of ingredients pure.
She balms with humour an all purpose cure,
The few words she speaks are solemn and wise,
She's charming, considerate and demure,
Her children care for her in old age, the prize.
It took me time to see this doll-like waif
As a potential, nay, so perfect wife.

{3D interactive chorus in B flat:}

As a potential, nay, so perfect wife.
As a potential, nay, so perfect mate.
As a potential, nay, so perfect spouse.

a study toward sonnet #182 by FisherKingKQJ
in F flat

When twelve I told Mum I wouldn't wed...
And God rest her soul, my husband to be
I met in a resthome on his deathbed...
I was fifty gone mad, he was seventy three.
A nurse, I'd lift the cup, he'd sip the tea,
I'd shoulder him to his zimmer frame,
As he had chronic arthritis in a clicking knee,
We'd smile at the aceydeucy boardgame.
And though he'd forget his own name
In espionage he'd played a crucial mole;
In time, insidious love took its claim-
He widowed Anglican, me a Catholic soul.
The passage of time has made our love plain,
And gone is the colour hair gave me pain.

{3D interactive corus in G flat:}

The passage of time has made our love plain.
The passage of time has made our love obvious.
The passage of time has made our love straightforward.

a study toward sonnet #181 by FisherKingKQJ
in D flat

An easygoing dwarf he fell well short
An oddball he cussed short odd Hoipolloi
A prophet his halitosis meant naught
A gourmet he with five courses could toy
A salesman he swore personable ploy
A loony he gamed clashing zodiac signs
A textmessage stalker he'd just annoy
A pick nose smoker he was all whines
A Mandarin he read between the lines
A winetaster he was coached by his mum
A mute he spelled out his SMS pines
A comb over he was soused in bay rum
My first time dates are still salutary
I might stay untouched and solitary?

[Major overhaul of nine lines, though content
essentially unchanged. 15/9/05]

{3D chorus in E flat:}

I might stay untouched and solitary?
I might stay untouched and hermit?
I might stay untouched and loner?

Consistent payouts and decent working conditions from the Punters' Union. Unionisation of the audience in the upbeat.
Potential offices in:
St Petersburg
Beijing
Budapest
Havana
Hobart
Zanzibar
Rio de Janeiro
A brief pause as a change in production methods is put in place.

a study toward sonnet #180 by FisherKingKQJ
in B flat

My Funga drank our last flagon of beer
She's roped in Jack as our prepaid guest-
I find this miser more than a little queer,
His overnight shelter ten she's accessed.
Poor Jack must feel he's second best,
His toes on a pillow between our heads-
At Funga Lady Muck's eloquent request
Jack his safety pin and broken fly zip sheds.
His miser fortune he fears for, he dreads
A shakedown while sleeping rough by roughnecks;
At low tide in Bastion Point pipi beds
In a thermos flask he's stashed welfare cheques.
For a month Jack checks into a motel
With a check- out girl sometime hand- model.

{3D interactive chorus in C flat:}

With a check- out girl sometime hand- model.
With a check- out girl sometime hand- artiste.
With a check- out girl sometime hand- poser.

a study toward sonnet #179 by FisherKingKQJ
in G flat

I organised the effect my retreat
From him would evoke and he knew I knew;
It wasn't primeval, it was cheeky conceit,
And yet I'd dropped a hint, I'd tossed a clue.
He turned white, he cringed as if to spew-
When I meant a soft tai chi kick in the groin;
But my good estimation of him grew....
Impulse was the other side of his coin.
He swung me about, my kiss to purloin,
My boobs were squashed on his solid chest,
My pelvis on his - he was a hungry doyen
Of reversals - his lips my wet lips addressed.
My steady boyfriend is a wreckless beast,
Yet out of my spirit he brings the best.

{3D interactive chorus in A flat:}

My steady boyfriend is a wreckless beast.
My steady boyfriend is a wreckless animal.
My steady boyfriend is a wreckless creature.

a study toward sonnet #178 by FisherKingKQJ
in E flat

A hot blush now prickled my cheeks and brow
At his practised excuses and his smooth chat;
And locks of straw blonde hair had slipped their stow,
Had escaped my large beret, this way that.
Analysed, the content of his words was scat-
All terrain charming, flirting to a fault;
He claimed his passes by aerogrotat,
The relationship had stonked to a halt...
My chest seemed a leaden, unmoving vault
In a graveyard; I'd thrown a hissy fit
And yet he stayed in my car, didn't bolt
As my out of character abuse hit.
I'm not saying I don't love him in bulk,
However, at condescension I balk.

{3D interactive chorus in F flat:}

I'm not saying I don't love him in bulk.
I'm not saying I don't love him in mass.
I'm not saying I don't love him in quiddity.

a study toward sonnet #177 by FisherKingKQJ
in D flat

What a duplicitous and sickly world
It is when a man is set up to fail;
Hypocrisy represents straight as curled,
And schadenfraude embraces things that ail.
A constable puts a shoplifter in jail
And nods to gangsters an easy, short shrift;
A politician commands a firesale
And seizes a payrise as token thrift.
A parent extolls a family rift
And hires out his teenager any price.
A trader thinks bookvalue a free gift
And sells to colleagues paper twice.
My musing isn't suicidal, only snide,
For as long as I have you by my side.

{3D interactive chorus in E flat:}

My musing isn't suicidal, only snide.
My musing isn't suicidal, only derogatory.
My musing isn't suicidal, only caustic.

a study toward sonnet #176 by FisherKingKQJ
B flat

Two short, abrupt toots on the car horn,
The van rolled down in neutral gear,
I knew who it was, I was careworn,
And burst into tears, I could feel his stare.
It didn't bother me if he felt some fear
Or anger; the ladder in my pantyhose
Had aggravated the atmosphere
I leaned the bucket seat flat, my feet rose.
I wriggled out, on the dashboard my toes:
We both laughed awkwardly, the frown
On my face larger and more morose
Than the frown in my heart cast down.
We'd bickered at the One Tree Hill fence stile,
I'd stormed off in dramatic diva style.

{3D interactive chorus in C flat:}

I'd stormed off in dramatic diva style.
I'd stormed off in dramatic diva custom.
I'd stormed off in dramatic diva method.

a study toward sonnet #175 by FisherKingKQJ
in G flat

On the other end of the phone line
I got a pedantic and stilted reply,
A piped tune and a pushbutton grapevine,
My lips moistened for chitchat went dry.
I'd let him eavesdrop me and freely pry,
So could he hear my galloping heartbeat?
I batted my eyelids to sign this guy,
And distract him from my blushing heat.
I'd paced my breath, a benign deceit,
And shivers spiralled up and down my spine;
Did his eyes find my lips ripe and sweet?
I wanted his twitching lips pressed on mine.
His eyes rested on my sombre lips,
I put down the phone after two ad libs.

{3D interactive chorus in G flat:}

I put down the phone after two ad libs.
I put down the phone after two quips.
I put down the phone after two wisecracks.

a study toward sonnet #174 by FisherKingKQJ
in E flat

O my sweet, you're a mysterious beauty
You're one woman in a thousand pretty
Sculptors and painters pay you duty
But ancient rapes shape your nittygritty.
You're educated, flippant and witty,
You're both low and high hanging fruit
You're too well groomed to evoke pity,
And contraception cancels any brute.
You're transparent offwhite, golden cute,
You've beaten karma with medical leisure,
Your double d bust is your attribute,
A wad of dollars is my manhood's measure.
Your genes are in demand, thinly spread,
Neither dwarf nor millionaire hunk is spared.

{3D interactive chorus:}

Your genes are in demand, thinly spread.
Your genes are in demand, thinly cast.
Your genes are in demand, thinly plastered.

a study toward sonnet #173 by FisherKingKQJ
in C flat

All my life is subliminal and baffled pain,
From the agonies of the gymn treadmill
To the cinema stall seat backside strain-
All sustained by workaday's placebo pill.
Always, your kindness is angled to chill:
I've got a migraine squinting at your gloss,
My good cholesterol drains off your grill,
Along with bad cholesterol, as dross.
You wear the culottes, you're the boss,
Even when it comes to trivia brushed aside,
It's my brand of trivia - you force and floss
A small kiss where a big kiss is denied.
Now, some solitude I'd like to savour
It may yield a solace to be our saviour.

{3D interactive chorus in D flat:}

Now, some solitude I'd like to savour.
Now, some solitude I'd like to mull.
Now, some solitude I'd like to taste.

a study toward sonnet #172 by FisherKingKQJ
in A flat

I leaned on the balcony balustrade
And my eyes roamed the exquisite sea;
The ozone and salt in my nostrils swayed
My mood from gloom to joy decisively.
For the life of plankton simple and free
Which clubbed to mirror and intersperse
The stars with their bioluminscent apogee
Somehow seemed a black and open purse.
Industrial diamond sparks looked to discurse
Mission Bay's nightlife; but the acrid smell
Of Havanna cigar smoke and a terse
And thick cough on his part broke the spell.
So what were we as we gazed into space?
A girl beside herself, a near perfect spouse.

{3D interactive chorus in B flat:}

A girl beside herself, a near perfect spouse.
A girl beside herself, a near perfect livein.
A girl beside herself, a near perfect mate.

a study toward sonnet #171 by FisherKingKQJ
in F flat

I straightened the lapels of his sports coat
And giggled looking upward to his eyes;
A girl with a pup on a leash now remote,
This was the time to strike and to devise.
I loved him to point of veil and burka guise:
He pulled me close, a hand cupped my backside,
He kissed me; my debate against white lies,
He loved, such a contrarian would be his guide.
The visas to a his and hers zig zag ride
On a dromedary and a bactrian veered;
He had little money, and still less pride,
His linguistics were import export-geared.
I'd chosen him without really thinking,
In the desert we'd still be tinkering.

{3D interactive chorus:}

In the desert we'd still be tinkering.
In the desert we'd still be fiddling.
In the desert we'd still be mending.

a study toward sonnet #170 by FisherKingKQJ
in D flat

He'd shaken his head with a smiling snort...
I was an idiot, an hourglass figure-
He was a nickel billionaire I'd sold short-
I'd pigeonholed him a suave gold digger.
A coin or metal nuance was the trigger,
I'd goofily questioned his financial skills;
He changed nickel piles into treasury bills,
He'd underplayed wealth not faked it bigger.
From his stepfather he'd learnt the drills
Of merchant banking, how to fund manage...
He'd just leased the mansion Poplar Hills-
Might we look for a son in the orphanage?
His love for me lent me indemnity
From headstrong mistaken identity.

{3D interactive chorus in E flat:}

His love for me lent me indemnity.
His love for me lent me cover.
His love for me lent me sanctuary.

a study toward sonnet #169 by FisherKingKQJ
in B flat

You habit two places at once, my sweet,
Whatever you might think. Looking-glasses
Of the Renaissance were first to defeat
Effect and cause, which holism surpasses.
Overseas, far off, your other life amasses-
And do I worry for you? Yes, indeed;
I love your essence in several classes:
Home movies, photos, videophone live feed.
You're ubiquitous, yet such is my greed
For you, I want you outside time in 3D,
I worry you by an ambulance freed
Of exit wounds or car wreck malady.
My sweet, it used to be near immoral
To worry aloud, but now we're immortal.

{3D interactive chorus in C flat:}

My sweet, it used to be near immoral.
My sweet, it used to be near unethical.
My sweet, it used to be near decadent.